Our interview of Beth Rylaarsdam for “The Creative Influencer” podcast is available today for download on iTunes, Spotify, and premier platforms everywhere. Beth is a social media influencer, plus-size model, motivational speaker, a body acceptance advocate and Lipedema awareness spokesperson.
Beth shares aspects of her “secret sauce” for how she went from a nonexistent social media following to a very impressive one in just a few years.
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A transcript of the episode follows:
Jon Pfeiffer:
I'm joined today by Beth Rylaarsdam. Welcome to the podcast.
Beth:
Thank you for having me, Jon. I'm really happy to be here.
Jon Pfeiffer:
So, I want to set the scene. On your website, you describe yourself as a plus-sized/curvy model, an Instagram influencer, a lipedema awareness spokesperson, and a body acceptance advocate. That's a lot-
Beth:
Absolutely.
Jon Pfeiffer:
That's a lot-
Beth:
That's all true.
Jon Pfeiffer:
That's a lot—and we'll come back—and then you've gone from a very modest social media following to a really impressive social media following in a short amount of time, and I want to ask you about that.
Beth:
I would say that I have gone from a nonexistent from a nonexistent social media following to ... just a crazy, tremendous following. I was never on social media until 2016 when I was a parent leader at my son's school. I had an account on Facebook from when the time when my son was born, because as part of a mom's group, you know, we had to share pictures, but I was like, "That won't be me. I can look at them. You could put us in a picture, but don't ever tag us because I will never see it, and nobody needs to know that that is us." So, but as a parent leader, I had to do a performance at his school, and he's now 14. So this was in 2016. One of the parents tagged me and I thought, "Oh God, I guess I have to join the living now," because I had been, you know, getting requests and things like that.
So needless to say, I embarked on a little Facebook journey, and I would pictures of clouds and hearts, and I thought, "Oh, maybe this is going to turn into, maybe I'll make a book." My team was like, "Beth, this is not what social media is, so you got to move on. Nobody cares about hearts and clouds. At least we'd like to see a little breakfast." So that was kind of how it began. Then I learned, for me, social media was actually a great journey because I learned that there were women who kind of looked like me. So I live in Los Angeles. I grew up in New York, and my experience living in both of those areas was I was pretty much the only person that kind of looked like me with curves, plus-sized, you know, I've been way bigger. I've been way smaller, but I've never been, you know, a standard sized two LA-type person.
So I was really happy to find that there were people, just regular, everyday people on social media who actually had, you know, they were plus size. They seemed to be living their lives, and I didn't feel like I was the only one. So for me, it's been a positive journey to see other people who I can relate to because that's not something that I ever had. You know, growing up, we don't see anybody ... The majority women, actually, 67% of women are a size 16 or above in the United States, and I think most people would never believe that because we don't see them. We don't see anybody that looks like, we're the majority, but we don't see people that look like us. So-
Jon Pfeiffer:
And to put that in context, what is size 16?
Beth:
So a standard size in a clothing brand ... Like a size large would be maybe like a size 12, 14?
Jon Pfeiffer:
Okay.
Beth:
And so now if the clothing brand makes a size extra large, that's like a size 16-ish.
Jon Pfeiffer:
And 60% of all women in the United States are 16 and above?
Beth:
67%.
Jon Pfeiffer:
67%.
Beth:
67%. Yeah. It's crazy, and only 18% of clothing manufactured are in those sizes.
Jon Pfeiffer:
So if you're listening, clothing manufacturers, here is a market for you.
Beth:
There's a huge market, and people just need to get over themselves in pushing the agenda that everybody should and does look like a runway, you know, a Paris, traditional runway model or what the old Victoria's Secret show's models look like. Most people don't look anything like that, but we would never know that because we're never shown that. We're never shown it in media, we're never shown it on, you know, on social media, obviously we're making a bit of a impact a little bit. I can find somebody that looks like me, but I curate my page. So I think that that's very important for people, to curate their page. You know, if you're a woman who's a size 18 and you're constantly, your page is curated by, you know, size two swimsuit models, well, yeah. Maybe you're going to continue to feel bad about yourself every day because you think that you're not that, and you think that's what you're supposed to be, and really we're all supposed to be ourselves, right? We're all supposed to be our best selves. So part of my platform is acceptance, and for me-
Jon Pfeiffer:
Tell me about that journey. How did you get to that point?
Beth:
How did I get to being acceptance?
Jon Pfeiffer:
Yes, to accepting yourself how you are.
Beth:
So I was a person who always thought you could never be too thin or too rich. I always, I was that person. I bought into that old lie. I did buy into that "gee, I'm the only person that looks like this," but at some point, so in 2017, I was diagnosed with a condition called lipedema and essentially it's what it sounds like: it is swollen fat. It is an additional layer of diseased fat that is actually a connective tissue disorder that affects at least 11% of women worldwide. There is seemingly some type of genetic component, and it typically presents itself in the classic way. It presents itself as an additional layer of adipose tissue from the waist down.
So, you know, you'll notice thicker thighs, rounder hips, more pronounced behind. Some people have, you know, what we traditionally have called "cankles" where they're thicker around the ankle, and then in about 50% of cases, 30 to 50% of cases, there is additional involvement in the upper arms, at least. So sometimes if you see somebody who has like a cuff, like they look like they have an elastic around their wrist, and then it's puffy, same thing like around the ankle, that person likely has lipedema, that woman, and it is traditionally women who are affected. It was actually something that was written about at the Mayo Clinic in 1940, and then it was kind of dropped and nobody ever knew or did anything about it, and here we are, I think we're about 12 years into some research and diagnosis in the United States. Europe is a little bit further along than we are, but there's no cure. It can be managed by different avenues, like proper non-inflammatory eating or nutrition style for you. Everybody's got a different one. So you got to find yours.
Movement is key. Anything in water is fantastic because it acts like a manual lymphatic drainage. The lymphatics are kind of impacted in a way that they don't function as well as they could, because they're kind of a little bit strangled. So some people actually have more pronounced swelling than others, but you're always wanting to try to get your, you know, have the least amount of inflammation as possible. There's often pain associated, as well as, like one of the whole marks is bruising, easy bruising. Like, you know, you just will get a bruise on your leg and you have no idea where did it come from or why or, you know, that kind of thing.
So when I was first introduced to this, I was actually diagnosed by a physical therapist who was treating me for a concussion, and I thought she was so thorough on her intake, and just didn't understand why was she looking at my legs and asking me about my shape and all of this. And I'm the traditional classic pear shape, which is kind of a, although women's bodies take on all different shapes with lipedema still, it's, yeah. I'm the classic shape. So in any case, once I learned about this, I was lucky enough that we have some experts here in Los Angeles. So I went a few months later to Dr. Emily Iker, who at the time was the only one who was really here that was not a surgeon, because some people will go down a surgical route of having the tissue removed through a particular type of liposuction.
So anyway, I wanted to hear from somebody who didn't have any skin in the game, I just wanted a diagnosis, and she was like, "Yeah. Is there a question?" I was like, "Well, it kind of sounded like, you know, from everything I learned," and I think it was the first time that I realized, because for me, my whole life, I was fighting with my weight. I was fighting that I didn't look like the Victoria's Secret model. I was fighting that, "Oh, if I would've just done," you know, say I did 200 sit ups. "Well, if I would've done 220 sit ups, then," you know, and it was always my failing that was the issue for me, or so I thought. Then it was the ... Even with the exercise and the nutrition, you know, I had been on every exercise and nutrition plan that there was, and I would have some results and then not, and whatever.
This finally led me, because one of the things that they say about lipedema is that diet and exercise does not get rid of it. So I believe there's some truth to that because it's always going to be on your body, but I do believe that with diet and exercise, proper nutrition for your body, proper exercise for your body, I do believe that you can impact your inflammation. I have been somebody who has done that. I was probably, I don't know what today is, but let's just go with, I was about 150 pounds heavier than I am now, and I was able through, you know, non-inflammatory eating for me as well as six days a week in the gym weight lifting and some cardio as well, I was able to get from that highest weight down 220 pounds. So that was a much different look.
Now, if you look at my, there's a picture of me in, I'm standing in a parking lot in Italy and my shadow is on the ground. I was basically the fitted, you know, I was in fighting shape on that particular day. That shadow is exactly the same shadow that I have today, just smaller. So the proportions, they stay the same, and it's kind of fascinating because you would never think that. So it was much different, but yet that shape, meaning, you know, like when I went into the doctor's office for my diagnosis, she's like, "There's no fat on your body other than lipedema. There's nothing you can do at this point other than that."
Now, interestingly enough, that whole, so I had been living a very clean eating existence. I had been living a very, you know, exercise-conscious life for, I don't even know, at least 15 years. When I went into that appointment, I was like, "Oh. If this is not my fault, let's see if I eat these things that I haven't eaten in 15 years and let's see I go three times instead of four times or five times," you know. So I got a little loosey goosey, and I think her impression was like, "You have to live. You know what this is, and you have to live."
I'm Italian, and every year on a Christmas Eve, I would go with my Italian family and I would never eat what was served. I would always bring my, you know, healthier version of it, right? So the first year that I was diagnosed, I, for the first time, ate the real homemade Italian food that I had been missing for so many years, and I didn't die the next day and I didn't feel incredibly inflamed or anything like that, but since my diagnosis, my weight has fluctuated and today, I'm probably up about 25 pounds than I was, but yet I feel happier in so far as I know what is going on. I know that it's not solely my fault. I know that it is a fine line. It is a fine line to watch, and I think with that, I became accepting of the fact that I have a chronic illness that I have to constantly manage.
Maybe some days I'm going to give myself grace and some days I'm going to be 100% on it, and that's okay. That's okay. I can't beat myself up for having that kind of 80/20 kind of a life. If I'm living and I'm happy, maybe I'm supposed to be at this 25 pounds up. I don't know, but I can't say that I'm not always trying to find what's the right balance for me.
So, I think that that was part of it, but I think as part of that, I realized, and this was something that really hit home for me during the pandemic, at the beginning of the pandemic especially. As my following grew, and I have people from all over the world in all different, you know, walks of life, and I realized that the one thing that we all have in common is likely that everybody has something in their life that they don't want to accept, they would like to change if they could. Some people sit and wallow about the fact like, "Oh, woe is me," and I'm always trying to encourage people to accept what there is, and then decide, "Do you want to change it?", and if you do, "Well now, how do you go about setting out to do that?"
Jon Pfeiffer:
And let's talk about how you've used your Instagram account to do that, because we talked offline and it started just from scratch, and then by the time of the pandemic, you had built it to 30,000 followers.
Beth:
Right.
Jon Pfeiffer:
But now here we are two years later, still, you know, on the verge of maybe they'll lift the mask mandate in Los Angeles this week, maybe they won't-
Beth:
Right-
Jon Pfeiffer:
But there are over 312,000 followers on Instagram. What did you do? What did you do to build it?
Beth:
Consistency is key. That I can tell you. The algorithm is not your friend. If you don't have thick skin, this is not for you. Just this morning, I was like, "Okay, what's happening? Why is there so little engagement? Why are there so few comments? Why are so few people seeing this?" Well, I can't explain it. On any given day, there is no way for me to explain why any of that happens because it's out of my hands, but if I was not thick-skinned, if I was not committed, today would've been a good day to give up, you know, or the days that it takes four times to write the post, put the post through. I personally have written every single one of my posts myself and I have posted them when I wanted about the topic that I felt at that moment. So there has been, mine has been purely organic from the beginning.
Jon Pfeiffer:
You have, and I want to stop you a second. You've found, it's one of my favorite ones. The post is "thick thighs save lives."
Beth:
Yes.
Jon Pfeiffer:
And you talk–
Beth:
So it's really funny because...
Jon Pfeiffer:
Talk about your relationship with your thighs.
Beth:
So it's funny because I was never aware of this, right, but there are different parts around the world that find thick size to be extremely beneficial. You know, and if you think about it, if you think about it, in certain areas, thick thighs really do save lives because if you have five little kids that need a place to sit and you have some big old, strong, thick thighs, guess what? They got a place to sit, right? I mean, who knew, right? Who knew? Because I didn't. I was taught that God forbid you should have thick thighs, and never realized that they were strong and they were powerful, and they carried me around and they, you know. Yeah, they make a great place. When my dog comes in the car, he's a little guy, he's 13 pounds, but when he comes in the car, he has a place to sit right across my legs. He doesn't have to have his bed there. He's happy as a clam, but this was news to me.
This was a new phenomena, and I thought about it and I thought, "This is true," or sometimes we refer to them as "these luscious thighs." Well, they are. They're really luscious. You know, if you're going to eat ribs, you want a succulent rib, right? I mean, so it's kind of like, "Oh." Now there are people that know this, and I didn't know that people knew this, and then there are people who know don't have any idea, right? The other part of my platform is to get us to all open our minds, like to learn something. Like when somebody makes a comment on my page and they say, "Oh, your thighs are amazing," and I always want to get to the bottom of it, like, "How did you come up with that idea?"
In some areas, I remember one time I had a massage by a Hawaiian man, and he said, and I was probably like my size now or maybe a little smaller, but I was not at my biggest. So I probably said, you know, "I'm not a wimp. Don't worry about going light" or whatever, you know? He's like, "Oh, I totally, in my world, you're like a queen. So I certainly know how to," you know, and I thought, "Well, that's curious," you know, because, again, who knew? Who knew this stuff? I didn't. But going back to "thick thighs size saving lives" and my, you know, things that I like to spout about who knew, so it either, I just never remember and I always forget to go look it back up, but either in 2017 or 2018, the number one Google search by men was "plus-size women."
Now, would anybody believe that? No. The women wouldn't believe it. Other men who are not interested wouldn't believe it. That's not to say that these men are not involved with other women, but there's so many people who have been fed this whole, you know, "you can never be too thin or too rich," right? But maybe that's not really what they feel, right? That's not really what floats their boat. So, you know, the internet has made things, whatever, so readily available that here would've been a poor guy sitting in the middle of Kansas who's, again, got that gorgeous size two trophy wife who won all the beauty contests there and he is lauded for, you know, he's done so well, but yet that's not what really spikes his interest. So he has an avenue to go ahead and you know, because he's not going to get it looking at a Cosmopolitan magazine, you know, or a different type of magazine. There's not going to be that-
Jon Pfeiffer:
Right.
Beth:
Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer:
One of your posts, you said that "haters are part of the mix."
Beth:
Yeah. Now-
Jon Pfeiffer:
So I want to ask you about reaction to comments. So on a scale-
Beth:
So I am blessed-
Jon Pfeiffer:
I was say, let me set the thing I want you to answer.
Beth:
Okay.
Jon Pfeiffer:
On scale one to 10, just so I can get a feel, one is "you couldn't care less about the comments" and ten are "they really, really bother you." Where are you?
Beth:
Wait. 10, "I don't care?"
Jon Pfeiffer:
No, 10, "you really care," one, "you don't care."
Beth:
For me, I'm like a two because I don't really care quite honestly, because it's not, it's not about me. If you write a comment that is derogatory, if you write a comment that is even disrespectful, it's not about me. It has nothing to do with me. It has to all to do with you, right? So I am actually very blessed, and I think that I somehow got myself into a unique position, which I actually want to believe that I got it, I set the tone, I think: when I first started, I did a Live every single day, and it was kind of like a club. It was kind of like, you know, similar people would be on and we would talk about different topics. So they knew that I was a regular person, I was a real person, and I'm a very open and accepting person. I love to learn about people and their differences.
So I think that was helpful, and I have not been under the scrutiny of some plus-sized people who get like the shame-er and the hater type. I really rarely get that, and when somebody says, "Oh, you need to lose weight," or, "Oh, why don't you go for a walk and that'll help,", or they say something negative about thick thighs, then I'll be like, "You're right, and can you imagine having to deal with this chronic illness, lipedema? So I always take it as a way to educate, and I have had people write me and say, "I don't know how you showed up on my For You page," or, "I don't know how I got into your Live," or "I don't know, whatever, but thank you because I actually have learned something," whereas there are other people who get the "oh, you're this," "oh, you're that," "oh, you're the other thing, and they take it to heart.
So for me, actually, when I talk about haters, it's actually the people who, because I know that it happens. They're the people who make some kind of report on my account. I don't ever see it. It doesn't ever come to me, but I know that somebody was offended by, you know, that I had thick thought, you know, that day, whatever I'm sure the picture was, you showed the thick thighs, right? So whoever was offended by that that day, or even people within my own community who don't like the fact that, "Hey, how is it that she can consistently grow, consistently gain, and she can consistently be respectful to her community? How is that?" So there are people that are those kind of haters. You know, quite frankly, my biggest haters have been people that I know.
Jon Pfeiffer:
Really?
Beth:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I-
Jon Pfeiffer:
On social media or just in person, face-to-face?
Beth:
No people that I know face-to-face.
Jon Pfeiffer:
Okay.
Beth:
Yeah, and that are also that have been, you know, within my community, it's fascinating, actually. It's fascinating. For my whole life, I have been the cheerleader for everyone, you know, like I think we should all win. That's my game, and if I can do anything to help support, I'm going to do that. So I finally figured out that everybody's not like that. I didn't really realize that before-
Jon Pfeiffer:
No, they are not...
Beth:
You know, and I do also find it fascinating that in the, from what I understand, in the quick rise that I have had, I find it fascinating to me that not too many people have reached out to say, "How do you do it? What have you done that has made you," you know, "I've had my account for seven years and I have 2000 followers. How is it possible that you've done that?"
Jon Pfeiffer:
Here's the chance to share the secret sauce.
Beth:
The secret sauce-
Jon Pfeiffer:
It's more consistency, yes. It's more than consistency. What else would you say? Would you attribute-
Beth:
So I would say for me, this is what really set my trajectory. Consistency. Authenticity, right? Organic-ness, you know, like I'm never following the trend. If I ever do a trend, it's like three months later and you know, by then, people are like, "Ha ha, she's funny." Then also I used Stories quite a bit. The thing about doing the Lives every day, that was huge, I believe, and then Stories. At some point I realized that on Stories and also on posts that you have a certain number of tags that you can use. You can use hashtags, you can actually tag a brand or a person or a something. I used those to get a reach. Like in the beginning, like I was thinking today like, "Oh, I'm so slacker, I'm such a slacker," because right now I have just been using, like if I do a story, I may have just one hashtag, but I used to do like 10 hashtags. Whether I let you see them or not, I used to have them all there.
So I think that one of the things that I have learned with Instagram is that they want you to use as many of the tools that they put out there. So like for instance now, in a Story, I will make sure that I use something to do with a filter, something to do with the, and generally my pictures are not photoshopped or, you know, airbrushed or even filtered, but it's more like a funny filter. You know, like I'll put the one with the nose on it or hearts, or something that you can tell is there, but I'm not altering-
Jon Pfeiffer:
Wow, there's a theme here. Hearts and clouds.
Beth:
Yeah, yeah. So anyway, and then, you know, now they have music. So I try to always put music on something and it's even if I'm posting a positive quote, right? I always make sure that I tag the person that it's connected to. I try to put a hashtag that says, you know, kind of gives a summary about what that thing is about. I try to put some kind of an emoji or a GIF in it. So it usually has at least five different elements, and that takes time. It takes time. Like people do not realize how long it takes to do these things.
Yeah, and just repetitively doing that, but I realized today, I have been a slacker on, like I haven't been putting 10 hashtags, and I'm thinking, "Well, what happens? What will happen to my account if I go back to doing a Live every day and putting hashtags like crazy on everything? Let me try it and let's see what happens. It'll be interesting," because I'm going to get back, I think in March, I'm going to see what happens if I do that for all of March.
Jon Pfeiffer:
So what are you working on now? Do you have a pet project you're working on now?
Beth:
So I am getting myself out there more now. I am actually going to be a speaker at this year's lipedema convention. We're going to be back in person this year. So in April, I'm going to be speaking at that as one of the presenters. So I'm very excited about that. I am going to start being part of, Everybody Deserves Love is a charity that I, whatever I volunteer for, and we're going to start a kind of a self-love course, and I'm going to be involved with that. So I'm excited about that as well. I'm definitely, I'm building out my website and really trying to kind of refocus and get my brand aligned with what I've been doing and with what my expertise has been.
Now before my son came along, I was in human resources and recruiting and employment. So I have an affinity you for that kind of thing as well, and I think maybe there might be some little workshops or something like that that would be helpful to people now as we're kind of regrouping, right? In addition, I'm starting to do consultations for people who are interested in a little type of coaching, like, "How do you come to that, Beth? How do you start accepting yourself?", that kind of thing, and then also specifically for women with lipedema, how to navigate, you know, "What do I do now that I've been diagnosed?", or I think I might.
Then back in the day, so my degree is in business administration marketing, my minor was in advertising, and my concentration was in fashion. So really this whole thing now has really come full circle, right, and I to do image consulting back in the day and help people. Actually, I had a lot of male clients, which is kind of interesting, but I used to help people figure out what their best colors were, and for women, how to do their makeup that was, you know, not like you just stepped off of a runway, but an everyday type of a look that was going to be achievable, and to create a wardrobe that makes you feel great. So that's going to be something else that I'm going to start getting back into as well. Of course, naturally working with more brands is currently on the table. I'm trying to focus with more self-care companies.
I've started, this year, a collaboration with F45 Fitness, which is a functional fitness and a hit program that is nationwide, I think worldwide even, but I'm connected here with a little group that has about four locations in the valley. So that's been fantastic for me because I realized during this pandemic that self-care for me has to involve people, has to involve others. Like it's not just me standing and doing my weight workout by myself. That does nothing for me. So-
Jon Pfeiffer:
I think a lot of people discovered that.
Beth:
Yeah. You know, there are some people who love those, you know, like new mirror workouts where you can do the, you know, it tells you what to do and all that stuff, and it's like, "Yeah, but I'm still standing there by myself," and I could go to the gym and never talk to a person. Like I don't even ever have to talk to a person, but I just feel like it's like the greater good or something like that, you know.
Jon Pfeiffer:
And there's a certain energy.
Beth:
Yeah, yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer:
There's a certain energy.
Beth:
Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer:
So where can people find you on the internet?
Beth:
So my website is thecurvygirlbeth.com, and across socials, so I've got, Instagram is my main platform and TikTok, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, YouTube. Those are all @Curvygirlbeth, "C-U-R-V-Y-G-I-R-L-B-E-T-H." Yeah-
Jon Pfeiffer:
Well thank you. This has been an absolute pleasure. It was great talking to you.
Beth:Thank you so much, Jon. I really appreciate you having me on and thanks so much, and I hope you have a rest of your day.
The Creative Influencer is a weekly podcast where we discuss all things creative with an emphasis on Influencers. It is hosted by Jon Pfeiffer, an entertainment attorney in Santa Monica, California. Jon interviews influencers, creatives and the professionals who work with them.
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