Our interview of Amelia Edmondson for “The Creative Influencer” podcast is available today for download on iTunes, Spotify, and premier platforms everywhere. Amelia is an Instagram Influencer who, after graduating from Pepperdine with a degree in Advertising last year, went all-in on making a living as an Influencer. Amelia shares the lessons she’s learned along the way, including how to be authentic and true to yourself as an Influencer, while also transitioning from college to post-grad life.
Amelia shared the following takeaways:
Jon Pfeiffer:
So how hard is it? Because, I mean, as somebody that is not an Instagram frequent poster, but I'm on Instagram a lot looking, how hard is it for you that is on Instagram to avoid the comparison game?
Amelia Edmondson:
It's very hard. I think ... I was actually having this conversation with someone the other day ... that when I have a lot of momentum going and I'm really stoked on what I'm sharing and have a lot of inspiration to create, it's not really much of an issue because I feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing. But then of course, as every artist struggles with, you have times where you're not feeling as inspired, life happens, you're growing as a person and you don't really know what you want to be creating. Because there's no cap to the amount of work you can be doing, it's easy to see these people who are grinding super hard and creating really cool things and you're like, "Well, I'm falling behind." I would say-
Jon Pfeiffer:
Yeah. "Why am I not doing that?"
Amelia Edmondson:
Yeah. Exactly. And it's, I think too, I put all this pressure on myself to be successful. So when you do have those times of rest, which are very necessary, you have to make a conscious effort to be like, "This is only going to help me in the future."
Jon Pfeiffer:
You said you put pressure on yourself to be successful. How do you define success?
Amelia Edmondson:
It's interesting because I think, this year more than any other year, I've had to redefine what that means
Amelia Edmondson:
[While] at Pepperdine… I did the modeling thing, loved it, but also had this itching to be on the creative side of things, like the creative direction. Also, I feel like, going into the whole creative world, I had these limitations, because I thought, "Oh, I need to stay fit and make sure I'm within this certain measurement," because I had this idea of being a model and what those measurements looked like, and it just wasn't really that attainable and it was definitely inhibiting.
Amelia Edmondson:
But then when I found this world of influencing ... That wasn't even really what it was called at the time ...
Jon Pfeiffer:
Do you feel judged?
Amelia Edmondson:
Sometimes. I think that is something that I've struggled with in terms of when people see my Instagram before they meet me. I think the connotation of an Instagram influencer isn't necessarily a good one. I love who I am as a person, and sometimes I don't feel like my Instagram encapsulates all of who I am. I'm always like, "I wish someone could get to know me before they saw that part of me." Yeah, I definitely think it changes the way people communicate from time to time, but I also know that my intentions are good and I'm happy with what I create.
Jon Pfeiffer:
How do you deal with the stereotypes?
Amelia Edmondson:
Honestly, I kind of just try to own it. I'm like, "Yeah, I'm an influencer." I try to inspire people to live mindfully and healthy, and if they have some kind of judgment towards that, then that's on them, because I know that I'm doing what I can and that I'm proud of what I do. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer:
You have a post about that too. You also go on to say, "But it's hard. Post-grad is weird. The 20-something years are weird." What did you mean?
Amelia Edmondson:
I just mean I think you hear it, but no one goes into the post-grad really believing that no one really knows what they're doing. I think that everyone sort of expects it to fall into place, but more often than not, I think, people have this season of just trying to figure out what they're meant to be doing, and then you realize you don't have the distractions of being surrounded by people and you're really alone with those feelings, and there's no formula to figuring it out except for just moving forward.
Jon Pfeiffer:
Then you go on, "We all have a purpose and, through chasing it, we make the world a better place." What's your purpose?
Amelia Edmondson:
So I'm still figuring it out, but right now I would say my purpose is to use creativity to inspire people to live mindfully and sustainably. I feel that very strongly. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer:
Do you read the comments?
Amelia Edmondson:
I do, yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer:
On a scale of one to ten, one, you could care less, ten, it really hurts, where are you on that scale when you read comments?
Amelia Edmondson:
You mean if they're aggressive-
Jon Pfeiffer:
Yeah.
Amelia Edmondson:
... or mean? Honestly, one. It's one of those things for me that I feel like if someone has the time and energy to comment something that's negative, then that's just really sad for them that they're like-
Jon Pfeiffer:
No, that's always been my view is like, "Where do you get the time to do this and why would you do this?"
Amelia Edmondson:
People actually ask me that a lot. I'm like, "I honestly could care less," because it's silly. I try to put myself in their shoes, and I'm like, "I would never comment something like this on someone's photo."
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A transcript of the episode follows:
Jon Pfeiffer: I am joined today by Amelia Edmondson. Welcome to the podcast.
Amelia Edmondson: Hi. Thank you for having me.
Jon Pfeiffer: You are an Instagram influencer.
Amelia Edmondson: I am.
Jon Pfeiffer: And you are a Pepperdine graduate?
Amelia Edmondson: Yes.
Jon Pfeiffer: And I reached out to you after you appeared in a article in the Pepperdine newspaper. It was titled "Pepperdine provides a breeding ground for Instagram influencers." But we weren't able to connect because you went-
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah, to Hawaii.
Jon Pfeiffer: ... to Hawaii.
Amelia Edmondson: I lived there for six months and did the whole traveling thing, but now I'm back.
Jon Pfeiffer: But I have to tell you I'm glad we didn't connect because now I think there's more to talk about.
Amelia Edmondson: Oh, absolutely.
Jon Pfeiffer: So I want to ask you about the articles first and then your transition since graduation.
Amelia Edmondson: Okay.
Jon Pfeiffer: Okay. So the first article was Artist's Corner where it was a feature about you, and you were a sophomore at the time.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah, a long time ago. A lot has changed.
Jon Pfeiffer: What month is your birthday?
Amelia Edmondson: January.
Jon Pfeiffer: January. So you were 20 at the time?
Amelia Edmondson: Yes. I just turned 23, so that would be correct.
Jon Pfeiffer: And just for background, when did you first start on Instagram?
Amelia Edmondson: I would say I really started and started gaining momentum actually around the time this article came out. It was the first time I really had the time to really focus on what I wanted to be doing, and it's funny because I think my intention for what I wanted to do has been the same since the article was written. It's just only grown, and it's really cool to see how I kind of stuck with it and it's translated into what it has today.
Jon Pfeiffer: Well, because in the article you talked a lot about starting a blog.
Amelia Edmondson: Yes.
Jon Pfeiffer: In essence, your Instagram account is your blog.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. Actually, at that time, I ended up having a physical platform as well, like a website, and quickly learned that writing is not my favorite thing to do. [Laughter] But yeah, I did try that. But I think Instagram has been where I keep a lot of my words and the things that I would be sharing on a blog.
Jon Pfeiffer: In the article, it talks about your mom was a photographer.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. She was a photographer and a model when she was younger too. So it's had a lot of influence on what I've been doing.
Jon Pfeiffer: And that essentially your entire life has been photographed.
Amelia Edmondson: Everything has been documented. We joke that I'm like the most documented child.
Jon Pfeiffer: Do you have brothers and sisters?
Amelia Edmondson: No. I'm an only child.
Jon Pfeiffer: Oh, you're an only child?
Amelia Edmondson: So I got all the attention, yeah. We have everything recorded, everything photographed, which definitely has played a huge role in me wanting to document the everyday parts of life. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: So that's been your norm.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. It's so interesting because before even Instagram was a thing, I would want to set up shoots, and I'd set up a little things and be like, "Mom, can you photograph this?" It was for nothing, just to have for fun, but I think that muscle has been exercised since a very young age.
Jon Pfeiffer: So do you even think anything about it now?
Amelia Edmondson: It depends on what it is, but I think that just because it's been so ingrained in me, daily I see different things in different ways that I want to photograph. So it's honestly become somewhat of a habitual habit. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: The first quote in the article is, "There is such a need for authenticity and emotional realness, and that's what I want to bring to my work." Do you still believe that?
Amelia Edmondson: I do, yeah. I think that as technology grows it's just going to be harder and harder to find the humanness in the social media realm, and I feel a responsibility to how that translates into what I share. I think it is a way that I've connected with people that I have found on the platform, and I think it's very important moving forward, yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: How much time do you spend a day just on social media?
Amelia Edmondson: So I think it changes. The past six months when I was traveling, it was less time. I've found that I have to be responsible for what head space I'm in. If I'm in a good head space, I can consume more, but if I'm not, I don't want that to affect me and I also don't want to be responsible for the energy that I'm putting into it. So it depends on my mood and the amount of work I have to do with it.
Jon Pfeiffer: So how hard is it? Because, I mean, as somebody that is not an Instagram frequent poster, but I'm on Instagram a lot looking, how hard is it for you that is on Instagram to avoid the comparison game?
Amelia Edmondson: It's very hard. I think ... I was actually having this conversation with someone the other day ... that when I have a lot of momentum going and I'm really stoked on what I'm sharing and have a lot of inspiration to create, it's not really much of an issue because I feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing. But then of course, as every artist struggles with, you have times where you're not feeling as inspired, life happens, you're growing as a person and you don't really know what you want to be creating. Because there's no cap to the amount of work you can be doing, it's easy to see these people who are grinding super hard and creating really cool things and you're like, "Well, I'm falling behind." I would say-
Jon Pfeiffer: Yeah. "Why am I not doing that?"
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. Exactly. And it's, I think too, I put all this pressure on myself to be successful. So when you do have those times of rest, which are very necessary, you have to make a conscious effort to be like, "This is only going to help me in the future."
Jon Pfeiffer: You said you put pressure on yourself to be successful. How do you define success?
Amelia Edmondson: It's interesting because I think, this year more than any other year, I've had to redefine what that means for me. So I would say this has been the most financially successful year, and I quickly learned that financial success is not at all what fuels my drive, and I think it's creating things that inspire me and add value. I think, as an influencer who makes their career off of working with brands, it's like how do you create something that adds value and isn't just something that's simply trying to sell something? So for me ... I don't know if that properly answered your question, but it's definitely to find something.
Jon Pfeiffer: No, it did, and we'll come back to it, because towards the end I have ... I'm not going to ask you a hundred questions, but it's the à la Vogue, the quick questions. Back to the article, it says, "My brand is free-spirited." Do you believe that's still the case?
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. I think that it's interesting, that concept of having a brand, because people are encouraged to have one brand that they really stick to and be consistent with, and that definitely helps in terms of with engagement, and people like to be expectant on what they're going to see. But I've found that over the past four years of me creating that I've changed so rapidly and grown so much as a human that there's not one brand that fits who I am as a person. So-
Jon Pfeiffer: And you still have a very beachy look.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. I feel like it's so funny too, because I actually grew up in West Virginia, and people are like, "You're not from California?" Like, "Nope-"
Jon Pfeiffer: Coal country!
Amelia Edmondson: "... I grew up in the mountains." But yeah, I love the beach. But yeah, I think the idea of being free-spirited is somewhat open to interpretation, because I've changed and I feel like as the ebbs and flows of life happens, so have my quote-unquote brand. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Okay. So now we're going to fast forward two years. There was another article in the Pepperdine newspaper, Pepperdine Graphic, titled "Pepperdine provides a breeding ground for Instagram influencers," which is true. First, how did you pick Pepperdine?
Amelia Edmondson: It's such a funny story because it's actually the only school in California I looked at. I came on a whim on a trip to California that I was able to go on because I injured myself and wasn't able to play volleyball, which was my thing in high school. Came, went to Malibu because we were like, "Oh, why not," passed it and just drove around, and I was like, "Wow. This is a really cool campus." When I applied, I kind of forgot about it because I didn't think I'd get in. I don't know why. I was just like, "This seems somewhat unattainable," and I was pretty set on going to school in Georgia. Then I got in, and I was like, "Dang. I can't not go," so I just ended up going.
Jon Pfeiffer: Did you know anybody when you got here?
Amelia Edmondson: No. Well, I had somewhat of a mutual friend that sort of showed me around campus, but other than that, I didn't. I kind of came knowing no one.
Jon Pfeiffer: How was that transition?
Amelia Edmondson: I was scared at first, but it ended up being so exciting, and I feel like I really was able to figure out who I was, because I think ... Growing up in West Virginia, I'm so grateful for it and it was such a amazing place to grow, but it inhibited me creatively in ways because I wasn't able to really explore that. So being here, it was almost like you had everything and everything was incredibly beautiful, and it was just so inspiring, and there's so many creatives to connect with here. So I was honestly thriving. I didn't get homesick at all.
Jon Pfeiffer: Not at all?
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: How big was the town you came from?
Amelia Edmondson: I couldn't give you the exact number, but small.
Jon Pfeiffer: How small is small?
Amelia Edmondson: I'm trying to think of a place to compare it to. I think-
Jon Pfeiffer: Well, because my hometown-
Amelia Edmondson: I think it's like two million. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Oh, your town is two million? Oh, see, when you said small ... I grew up on a farm in Nebraska 15 miles from a town of a thousand people.
Amelia Edmondson: Wow. That's amazing.
Jon Pfeiffer: So that's small.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. No, that's really small. Not quite small, yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Okay. So how many people in your high school graduating class?
Amelia Edmondson: 400, around there. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Okay. So back to Pepperdine. The article said that you modeled before you did Instagram?
Amelia Edmondson: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Jon Pfeiffer: What particular type?
Amelia Edmondson: I just kind of did a lot of lifestyle stuff. I'm really tall, so everyone was like, "Oh, my gosh. You should do modeling," and I did a lot of athletic wear and different stuff in that realm.
Jon Pfeiffer: Well, you do seem really tall. How tall is tall?
Amelia Edmondson: I'm 6'1". So yeah, I'm a long girl, but I quickly-
Jon Pfeiffer: Which is why the volleyball in high school.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. Even at Pepperdine, everyone thought I was on the volleyball team, but I wasn't. I did intramurals, but that's a whole other story. But yeah, I did the modeling thing, loved it, but also had this itching to be on the creative side of things, like the creative direction. Also, I feel like, going into the whole creative world, I had these limitations, because I thought, "Oh, I need to stay fit and make sure I'm within this certain measurement," because I had this idea of being a model and what those measurements looked like, and it just wasn't really that attainable and it was definitely inhibiting.
But then when I found this world of influencing ... That wasn't even really what it was called at the time ... I was like, "Wow. You mean I can model and creative direct and be in charge of everything while making a living doing it?" and I was like, "That's something I want to work towards." Yeah. It's been such an interesting ... And I can still do modeling. It's just in a different capacity. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Different platform.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. Different way.
Jon Pfeiffer: You talked, in the article, to the reporter about balancing Instagram and school. How was that?
Amelia Edmondson: Interesting. Actually, it's been ... Reflecting on that since post-grad has actually been fascinating because I think I loved what I was studying, but I didn't really love the school part. I loved the structure it provided, and it was almost like every day it was a game to see how can I shoot this and then get all my homework done. I would be in the library for 10 minutes and then call a friend and be like, "Hey. I really need to shoot this before the sunset goes down." So we would run to the beach, shoot for 10 minutes, go back, I'd finished my homework.
It was almost like because I had so much on my plate, I felt so productive and was in this go, go, go space, and it almost made me even more inspired creatively. But the balance was definitely not even. It was kind of like it gets done when it gets done.
Jon Pfeiffer: What was your major?
Amelia Edmondson: Advertising.
Jon Pfeiffer: Advertising?
Amelia Edmondson: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Jon Pfeiffer: In the article, it said, "The hardest part isn't being recognized," because you were asked if you recognized, and let me stop there a second. Tell me about the first time you were recognized.
Amelia Edmondson: I actually had a really funny experience in Hawaii. I was at this cafe, and this girl had this really cool sweater on. I was like, "Wow. I really like your sweater." She was quiet for a second, and she was like, "I definitely follow you on Instagram. You just moved here, didn't you?" I was like, "Yeah," and I'm like, "This is so wild." She was like, "I am visiting from North Carolina, and I love your Instagram, and I was so inspired to come here because I saw your photos," and I was like ... Because to me Instagram is something I do. It's not who I am, and for someone to recognize me, it felt so bizarre and it was really flattering. But it was also just so odd because you don't really think that people are really watching what you do, but they are.
Jon Pfeiffer: Because you put it out in the aether.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. You put it out there, but it's kind of like, "Maybe people will see this. I don't know." Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Do you feel judged?
Amelia Edmondson: Sometimes. I think that is something that I've struggled with in terms of when people see my Instagram before they meet me. I think the connotation of an Instagram influencer isn't necessarily a good one. I love who I am as a person, and sometimes I don't feel like my Instagram encapsulates all of who I am. I'm always like, "I wish someone could get to know me before they saw that part of me." Yeah, I definitely think it changes the way people communicate from time to time, but I also know that my intentions are good and I'm happy with what I create.
Jon Pfeiffer: How do you deal with the stereotypes?
Amelia Edmondson: Honestly, I kind of just try to own it. I'm like, "Yeah, I'm an influencer." I try to inspire people to live mindfully and healthy, and if they have some kind of judgment towards that, then that's on them, because I know that I'm doing what I can and that I'm proud of what I do. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Well let's actually change to your Instagram posts. On April 23, 2019, you posted, "Tomorrow is my last day of school ever." Did you think then and do you still think that school's done for you?
Amelia Edmondson: Interesting question. So since post-grad has been unfolding, I've taken a lot of interest in psych, psychology in specifically the Enneagram and different-
Jon Pfeiffer: Which type are you?
Amelia Edmondson: I'm a three-wing-four. I'm really into it, and I could see myself potentially studying something later down the road in the psych realm, but I'm not certain. I also would love to take classes in videography and more graphic design classes, but that might be something I do just bits and pieces, but we'll see. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: And then it goes on to say, "I'm so excited for this next chapter of life." What did you envision?
Amelia Edmondson: Good question.
Jon Pfeiffer: So put your head back. You're just taking your last class. You're going to graduate in three, four days.
Amelia Edmondson: I'm moving to Hawaii. I'm like, "Cool." I have no idea what to expect. Definitely, the past two months have been about me really reflecting on my time in Hawaii and traveling, and I will say I had very, very high expectations for myself and had no idea how difficult post-grad would be. I had this idea. I was like, "I'm going to move to Hawaii, I'm going make acai bowls every day, and I'm going to just learn to surf and do all the things," and it was much different than I expected, but it was what I needed. I think that moving someplace where you don't know anyone is one of the most challenging things you can do, and without having the structure of school and the consistency of it, I was somewhat floundering, and it was terrifying.
Jon Pfeiffer: People forget that when you go to college, you're in new classes every day with people, so you get to meet people. Once you graduate, It's not like you're in a class together.
Amelia Edmondson: And I'm extremely extroverted, which has become ... I have a new understanding of it, because I've found that, for me, I get energy from being around people. So even if I wasn't interacting with people while I was in school, the energy of being surrounded by people was energizing to me.
Jon Pfeiffer: So if you're in an elevator, do you talk to people?
Amelia Edmondson: Absolutely. I'm a talker. Sometimes it gets on my friends' nerves, but I just love to talk to everyone because I think ... Something too I've found with traveling is the ... Have you ever heard of the six degrees of separation?
Jon Pfeiffer: Yeah. The Kevin Bacon thing.
Amelia Edmondson: It's gotten smaller and smaller and smaller, and it's so fun for me to meet someone. They'll tell me where they're from, I'm like, "Oh, do you know ..." and I'll name the one person I know from there and try to make some random connection, because that's such a crazy concept to me and I've found such bizarre mutual friends with people.
Jon Pfeiffer: So how did you pick Hawaii?
Amelia Edmondson: So I went to visit a friend who lived there, and I noticed that I felt encouraged to step more into who I felt like was the best version of myself, and it was just such a different place. I had never seen anything quite like it before. On top of that, because it's an island, there's a lot of focus on sustainable living, and that's kind of something I'm very passionate about. So I was like, "Huh. Maybe I'd like to live here for a little bit," and my goal was that by the time of post-grad, I would have saved enough to be able to move wherever I wanted to to pursue more creative work.
This opportunity just kind of presented itself when this girl was like, "Hey. I'm subleasing my apartment for three months," which was the perfect amount of time, and it was on a month-to-month basis, so if I wanted to leave I could, and I was like, "Well, I can't not go." It was terrifying. I remember when I made the decision, I got sick to my stomach, and I was like, "That's fear."
Jon Pfeiffer: A lot of people don't say that about going to Hawaii.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. Well, it was just because I had no idea what to expect. I was leaving California. I had my momentum. I had the people to help me shoot. I had all of the resources that I needed to do the creative work, and I was kind of leaving everything behind to go into the unknown and it was terrifying.
Jon Pfeiffer: When you got to Hawaii, how did you find somebody to help you shoot?
Amelia Edmondson: Yep. Well, didn't really take that into consideration until I got there. I had one friend who helped me a couple times, but then outside of that, I had taken on the most work I'd ever had taken on, and I was like, "I did not plan for this ahead of time." I started using a tripod. I got real good at using that-
Jon Pfeiffer: With timers?
Amelia Edmondson: ... and taking photos with timers. But it was hard because I love the collaboration of working with someone else. So the first month too I had a friend who had visited me and we'd shot a lot, but there was a three-month period where I had tons of work, very little help, and it was extremely stressful. I felt like I was going to fail, and I was so worked up about it, and that was a really good lesson for me.
Jon Pfeiffer: Even though you're on Instagram, you also are on YouTube in a limited basis.
Amelia Edmondson: In a limited ... Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: But there's a video of you on a VW bus. Whose bus is that?
Amelia Edmondson: So when I got there, I had this dream of finding one and then renting it so that me and my friend could go camping in it, and I was scouring the internet and found this dude that had this beautiful green bus. So I reached out and was like, "Hey. Would love to shoot in this bus and camp in it," and he was really cool and let us rent it. That was honestly one of the highlights of my time in Hawaii. It was just such a good time. Yeah. Actually, I want to do more YouTube videos, but I think now that I'm back in California and I have more time and people that can help me, that's an intention of mine. But yeah, that was fun.
Jon Pfeiffer: In the videos, you see it. There was one where you had a movie night and you would put the movie against a wall.
Amelia Edmondson: Mm-hmm (affirmative). With a projector.
Jon Pfeiffer: But you had put a sheet up, and then there was hearts around it and all this other stuff.
Amelia Edmondson: The lights, yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: How much of that in your daily life do you make something like that an event?
Amelia Edmondson: Oh, every time I would set up a movie night, I would have people over to watch a movie. That's actually one of my favorite hobbies to ... Or a favorite hobby of mine is setting up movie nights. But do you mean in terms of when I set up shoots, how often is it like a-
Jon Pfeiffer: Well, I mean, to watch the shoots or the videos and to look at the photos, it's the most elegantly set up-
Amelia Edmondson: Thank you.
Jon Pfeiffer: ... food you could ever have, and I would eat everything before I set it up.
Amelia Edmondson: I know. I feel like everyone gets mad when I'm like, "You can't eat it yet. I have to take the photos." They're like, "Can we eat yet?" I'm like, "Nope." Yeah. It's kind of my excuse because I'm like, "I paid for it, so you have to wait."
Jon Pfeiffer: There you go. Then on September 11, 2019, you wrote on Instagram, "These have been a really difficult last three months." Tell me about that.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. So that was kind of the time when I was in Hawaii. I didn't really have a community. I had a couple friends here and there. I didn't have a lot of help or resources to do the creative work I wanted to be doing. I think it was a time that I really had to learn to just accept where I was and enjoy it, but I felt all this pressure to be like, "Well, I should be so happy because I'm on this island and I live right-"
Jon Pfeiffer: You're in paradise.
Amelia Edmondson: "... next to the beach." I'm in paradise. I have all this beautiful fruit and flowers everywhere. The pressure to perform and the pressure to be happy was extreme, and I think I just had such high expectations for myself and was so hard on myself that it was difficult for me to accept-
Jon Pfeiffer: We'll come to that.
Amelia Edmondson: ... that I might be struggling.
Jon Pfeiffer: You have a post about that too. You also go on to say, "But it's hard. Post-grad is weird. The 20-something years are weird." What did you mean?
Amelia Edmondson: I just mean I think you hear it, but no one goes into the post-grad really believing that no one really knows what they're doing. I think that everyone sort of expects it to fall into place, but more often than not, I think, people have this season of just trying to figure out what they're meant to be doing, and then you realize you don't have the distractions of being surrounded by people and you're really alone with those feelings, and there's no formula to figuring it out except for just moving forward.
Jon Pfeiffer: Well, I remember the first fall after law school, I'd been going to school my entire life, I had this free-floating anxiety of something's not right, and it took about a month to realize it's because I'm not in school. I don't have that structure anymore.
Amelia Edmondson: Well, because when you're in school ... I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but I had a completely separate life outside of school, so I wasn't expecting the lack of it to really affect me that much, but it was huge. But it was with the removing of being in school that I learned so much about how I function and what fuels my fire, so it was very necessary but a difficult transition, for sure.
Jon Pfeiffer: Well, and it's because for most college graduates it's the first time you've never had that structure of Monday there's a class, Tuesday there's class, Wednesday there's a class.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. And it's also too, when you're doing freelance—Instagram or YouTube or whatever it may be,—it's up to you, everything's up to you. No one provides your schedule. No one tells you where or you need to be here then, and it's all up to you, and it was like, "Whoa. If I don't get in my groove, then how am I going to succeed?"
Jon Pfeiffer: The September 11th post goes on, "IDK what I'm doing with my life."—I don't know what I'm doing with my life.—"Mental breakdowns." What would trigger those thoughts?
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. I would say, honestly, because when I was in school and I was working so hard, I felt like I was really successful creatively, and because I obviously didn't have the resources and wasn't working as hard, I felt like I wasn't being as successful. And because I'm a three and a success-driven person, if I feel like I have failed in some capacity, then it's like, "Well, why am I here? What am I meant to be doing?" That's such a heavy way of thinking about it, but I remember, at that time, that was kind of the mindset I was in.
Jon Pfeiffer: The post finishes, "Thought this word vomit of a caption was a good first start."
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. I specifically remember that, at that time, I felt ingenuine posting on Instagram if I wasn't transparent about how I was feeling in my heart, and I think that's something that I have taken to heart because I think you have to be responsible for what you're sharing. And to portray that everything's perfect all the time-
Jon Pfeiffer: It's not?
Amelia Edmondson: I mean, it's somewhat cliche to say.
Jon Pfeiffer: It's not?
Amelia Edmondson: I know. But it's like I feel more connected to people when they share those times, and if I'm going to be on the platform, I would hope that I am able to touch someone in some way. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Now we're going to go ahead for two months, November 4. "I've had a few friends lovingly tell me that they wish I spoke to myself with the same love and encouragement I do to them. I honestly didn't realize how harsh I was speaking to myself." Tell me about your inner critic.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. So I think, again, it just comes back to the fact that I had these expectations to be succeeding in a way that I had set for myself when going to Hawaii and when going to post-grad and didn't expect all the feelings of fear and uncertainty take over, and I thought that I should push through that. But it was almost like it was my fault and I wasn't giving myself grace for struggling in conditions that are obviously difficult.
Jon Pfeiffer: Was that the first time you'd felt that?
Amelia Edmondson: Yes. Yeah. Because it was almost like before I thought that, I remember times of being like, "I'm unstoppable. I have everything I could need. Nothing's going to stop me now," and because I'd never felt that before, I was like, "Am I done for? Is there-"
Jon Pfeiffer: A 22-year-old has-been.
Amelia Edmondson: "... reason to go forward?" Yeah. You know? It's ridiculous, and I remember talking to my parents, and they're like, "You're actually being absurd." I mean, they said it lovingly, but they were like, "It's going to be okay," but I think there's times ... And it's so bizarre because since being in California, I feel this sense of just peace and belonging and so much more myself, and I wish ... And I knew this at the time. I was like, "I know future me is going to wish she could grab me by the shoulders and be like, "Hey. It's going to be okay. Chill out." But sometimes when you're just in those thoughts, it's hard to get out. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Now we're going to fast forward to January 1-ish of this year. You post, "2019 was a doozy, to say the least. Here's some of the things I learned," and then you go through the bullet point list, which this I did not know, "Smile face, toe tattoos rub off very quickly."
Amelia Edmondson: Yes. I did not know that. My friend and I got tattoos on the bottom of our big toes, and it literally lasted a week, and I felt so-
Jon Pfeiffer: Oh, a real tattoo?
Amelia Edmondson: A real tattoo! But in Hawaii you don't wear shoes, so it just rubs off very quickly. I was like, "Oh, noted."
Jon Pfeiffer: That never even occurred to me. Okay. But then you have a couple bullets down, "When you feel the urge to talk to someone you don't know, do it," which we talked about, talking in the elevators. Do you talk to people in lines at the grocery store?
Amelia Edmondson: I did. I talk to everyone. Actually, so that one in particular ... When I was in Hawaii, I was at this place called the Sunrise Shack, which is this super popular smoothie place, and this girl complimented a sticker on my water bottle, and it was a California sticker. Then we got to talking, and she is now for sure a lifelong friend and was someone who was going through some of the same struggles I was when I was in Hawaii, and she was just put there at the right place at the right time. I think, sometimes, if I hadn't felt the urge to continue a conversation with her, I wouldn't have had so many of the beautiful memories that I had from Hawaii.
Jon Pfeiffer: A few more bullet points down, "I'm bad at confrontation, but it got better this year and I'm quite proud of myself." Why are you bad at confrontation?
Amelia Edmondson: I think it's a matter of, as a three, I fear people thinking of me differently than I want them to, and for me, if I confront someone, it's this fear that they're not going to accept me. But it's almost like if there's someone I need to confront, I don't know why I would need them to-
Jon Pfeiffer: To accept you.
Amelia Edmondson: ... accept me. Yeah. But I think something I've learned is that confrontation is a really important form of self-love, and I've lovingly taken steps in the direction of what I need to say to people not in an aggressive way, but-
Jon Pfeiffer: Well, there's ways of saying things, yeah.
Amelia Edmondson: Absolutely. I think being young and having roommates just really nails that point in, because communication is so important. Yeah. Yes.
Jon Pfeiffer: Then you go on, "We all have a purpose and, through chasing it, we make the world a better place." What's your purpose?
Amelia Edmondson: So I'm still figuring it out, but right now I would say my purpose is to use creativity to inspire people to live mindfully and sustainably. I feel that very strongly. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: And coming from West Virginia, where does that come from?
Amelia Edmondson: Actually, so when I was in high school and middle school, I didn't really know much about what it meant to live sustainably. I took a class on environmental science and sort of learned a little bit about global warming, but then since coming here I was like, "Whoa. There's a whole new world of learning in this subject that I was completely unaware of," and I think being from somewhere where it's maybe not talked about quite as much, I feel a responsibility to share on my platform the importance of living in that way.
Jon Pfeiffer: Do you read the comments?
Amelia Edmondson: I do, yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: On a scale of one to ten, one, you could care less, ten, it really hurts, where are you on that scale when you read comments?
Amelia Edmondson: You mean if they're aggressive-
Jon Pfeiffer: Yeah.
Amelia Edmondson: ... or mean? Honestly, one. It's one of those things for me that I feel like if someone has the time and energy to comment something that's negative, then that's just really sad for them that they're like-
Jon Pfeiffer: No, that's always been my view is like, "Where do you get the time to do this and why would you do this?"
Amelia Edmondson: People actually ask me that a lot. I'm like, "I honestly could care less," because it's silly. I try to put myself in their shoes, and I'm like, "I would never comment something like this on someone's photo," so-
Jon Pfeiffer: I interviewed a photographer, a professional photographer, and she does a lot of beauty shoots of women and a lot of bikini shoots. Because she's a woman, they trust her. So she puts her subject on her Instagram account, and she was talking about the marriage proposals she would get when it's not even her.
Amelia Edmondson: Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, people are just ... Sometimes they're just on another planet. I don't know. Yeah. That's crazy.
Jon Pfeiffer: So have you-
Amelia Edmondson: I've gotten crazy comments and messages. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: So have you gotten marriage proposals?
Amelia Edmondson: Yes. I've gotten requests to have photos of my feet often. Actually, it's so funny because when I was in Hawaii, I got feet messages all the time, and I was like, "Why am I getting so many of these?" Then I was like, "Oh, because every photo I post I'm barefoot." I was like, "Makes sense."
Jon Pfeiffer: I just don't get that whole foot fetish thing. I just don't get it. Okay. Now we're going to transition from global warming and sustainability to 73 questions à la Vogue.
Amelia Edmondson: Cool.
Jon Pfeiffer: Okay. What question do you ask to find out the most about a person?
Amelia Edmondson: "What's your Enneagram?"
Jon Pfeiffer: And we already know your answer, because I was going to turn it back around on you. What question would you most like to know the answer to? And on Vogue, they give you these questions in advance.
Amelia Edmondson: Oh, you mean in terms of around the world?
Jon Pfeiffer: No. I mean, you've seen the ... There's videos where they'll do famous people and just like ...
Amelia Edmondson: Totally. I'm trying to think of ... So wait. What do you mean when you ask the question, sorry.
Jon Pfeiffer: Okay. So what question don't you know the answer to that you'd just like to know the answer to?
Amelia Edmondson: Whether eating meat is as bad for us as we think.
Jon Pfeiffer: Favorite food? What's your favorite food? You thought meat was my favorite food. What's your favorite food?
Amelia Edmondson: I would say sweet potatoes.
Jon Pfeiffer: Least favorite food?
Amelia Edmondson: Candy.
Jon Pfeiffer: You're lucky. Do you collect anything?
Amelia Edmondson: I collect patches from the places I travel to.
Jon Pfeiffer: Really? Where do you put them?
Amelia Edmondson: I have a backpack that I'm saving all of them up to put them on, and I also intend on buying a jacket to put them on, because I have way too many.
Jon Pfeiffer: What TV channel doesn't exist, but should?
Amelia Edmondson: These are good questions. I'm like, "Dang." I would say a TV show that shows you how to do simple things like how to sew on a button and day-to-day tasks that I feel have kind of-
Jon Pfeiffer: I think that's YouTube.
Amelia Edmondson: Well, yeah. YouTube's for that. I was like, "I'm pretty sure there's a channel for everything." I really can't think of anything that doesn't exist.
Jon Pfeiffer: Especially if you go to YouTube. What's your favorite movie?
Amelia Edmondson: Forrest Gump and The Grinch. It's a close tie. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas ... or How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Jon Pfeiffer: What's the last movie that made you cry? Forrest Gump?
Amelia Edmondson: I love Forrest Gump. Wait. I watched a movie the other day and cried. Hidden Figures.
Jon Pfeiffer: If you could star in a movie, who would you want to be your co-star?
Amelia Edmondson: Jennifer Garner. She went to my middle school and my high school.
Jon Pfeiffer: Really?
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. She's the one person that I would really love to run into at some point while I'm here.
Jon Pfeiffer: What's your guilty pleasure? Oh, by the way, you want to run into celebrities? Go to the grocery store Ralph's in Malibu.
Amelia Edmondson: Oh, yep. I need to be there all the time. I would say guilty pleasure is listening to Taylor Swift all the time. Love her. No shame.
Jon Pfeiffer: What's the one talent you wish you had?
Amelia Edmondson: Singing.
Jon Pfeiffer: Can't sing?
Amelia Edmondson: I feel like I'm okay, but I'm not great. But when people can sing, I think it's just such a beautiful skill.
Jon Pfeiffer: What's your biggest pet peeve?
Amelia Edmondson: Biggest pet peeve? The lying, laughing, crying emoji. Do you know the one I'm talking about?
Jon Pfeiffer: Yes, I do.
Amelia Edmondson: I don't know why. For some reason when I see it-
Jon Pfeiffer: It bothers you?
Amelia Edmondson: ... I think it makes things not funny. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: I have been interviewed for the Wall Street Journal once, and it was about emojis.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. Emojis, you have to use the right ones.
Jon Pfeiffer: Yeah. I mean, my son said, "You're on the Wall Street Journal feed about emojis." So it was like, "Okay."
Amelia Edmondson: That's funny.
Jon Pfeiffer: Have you ever been starstruck?
Amelia Edmondson: Honestly, no. Living in L.A., I've learned if someone is a really good person and they've done something really noble, that is what's star-striking to me, because I've met so many celebrities who I feel like aren't really kind people. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: What's the best compliment you've ever received?
Amelia Edmondson: "You help me be a better person," I would say. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Nice compliment. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have the best chance of winning a medal at it?
Amelia Edmondson: I would say maybe speed creating a photo shoot. I feel like I'm really good at just getting it really quick and seeing what looks best. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Now that you're back in L.A., do you have somebody help you take your photos?
Amelia Edmondson: I have a few friends here, yeah. Actually, now that I'm here and I have the resources to what I feel like I need to create a really good schedule for myself, I plan on having multiple days a week where I shoot with different friends of mine. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: How many days a week do you plan to shoot?
Amelia Edmondson: It changes depending on how many projects I have and how I'm feeling, because sometimes I get in this zone where I want to shoot every single day, and then sometimes I'm like, "This one was really exhausting. I kind of need to take a breather." Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: How do you consume media?
Amelia Edmondson: Mindfully. I would say that over the year I've learned the importance of really limiting what I'm looking at and really getting in touch with how things make me feel, and so I think that my emotions and mood is an indicator of how much I consume, and I very much curate what I consume. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: What's a question you wish people would stop asking you?
Amelia Edmondson: "What do you want to do with the rest of your life?" Because I think it puts so much pressure on us and I think it changes. Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Yeah. I mean, there's still a lot of living left to be done.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. For sure.
Jon Pfeiffer: How is it dating and being an Instagram influencer?
Amelia Edmondson: Interesting, for sure. An intention of mine is, for when I do date, I want it to be someone that I haven't really met through or who knows about my social media not because I think I'm special or anything, it's just I think that it adds a different layer to it. I've had guys that I've gone on dates with who I've found out later wanted to go out because they wanted to be influencers and they wanted me to post about it-
Jon Pfeiffer: So you can cross-post? Yeah.
Amelia Edmondson: ... which is so cringy. That's the grossest thing I've ever heard, and then I think also ... We were talking about earlier about the stereotypes of being an influencer. I think it changes the way people see me, and if someone is going to have a idea of who I am before they get to know me, I don't like that either.
Jon Pfeiffer: And It's especially bad with YouTubers.
Amelia Edmondson: Oh, yeah. I can imagine.
Jon Pfeiffer: Because everybody knows everything about their life they've done. By the time you've done it several years, you run out of material if you don't talk about yourself.
Amelia Edmondson: Right. Yeah. I actually have a friend who does YouTube and went through a breakup, and she's like, "I don't even know how to talk about this on YouTube." It's so awkward because then if you're also ... It's kind of cringy. You want to be able to talk about it in a way that's respectful to both parties, but it's also crazy to have people with a magnifying glass on your life.
Jon Pfeiffer: Yeah. Sometimes it's just oversharing.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah. Oversharing.
Jon Pfeiffer: Oversharing. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? And then I'm got to flip it when you get that one done with, what's the worst piece of advice you've ever received?
Amelia Edmondson: I would say the best piece of advice I've ever received is, "Do what you love and the money will follow."
Jon Pfeiffer: What's the worst piece of advice?
Amelia Edmondson: I feel like something, especially in the space of what I've been doing for a long time, the worst piece of advice I've ever received is that you have to be relentless and working hard for what you want to be doing moving forward, because I've gotten burnt out, and I think that by having that advice in my head, I've learned that it's different for everyone and that the process to working hard is different for everyone. So yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: Last question for you. Where can people find you on Instagram?
Amelia Edmondson: Well, my handle is @amelia.edmondson, and that's the best way, and then I have a link to my YouTube if you're interested in watching my three videos. I plan on posting more. But yeah, those are the best ways.
Jon Pfeiffer: Thank you.
Amelia Edmondson: Yeah.
Jon Pfeiffer: This has been fun.
Amelia Edmondson: Thank you.
The Creative Influencer is a bi-weekly podcast where we discuss all things creative with an emphasis on Influencers. It is hosted by Jon Pfeiffer, an entertainment attorney in Santa Monica, California. Jon interviews influencers, creatives and the professionals who work with them.
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